When I read the Bible, it makes so much more sense with context and the backstory of the person who is writing the particular book. So, to give my readers context for things I will write-why not make the second blog post about who I am so there is some understanding of my perspective. In college my living community did this thing called ‘story time’ and it was the best part of the week. After each one, instead of this stranger living next to me, we would have an understanding of the neighbor and silent agreement of now being part of their life. Please feel free to leave bits of your story in the comments below- I love hearing them! Here is a short synopsis of my journey as a Christian and explanation of our plans for the future.
Grew up in Colorado with THE best family. [Shout out if any of you end up reading the blog: I love you guys.]
Anyways- became a Christian as a teenager.
Like we all do, I gave influence to people who shouldn’t have had a say and pretty young I was told, “You are just not a lovable person”. After that I was starving for both worth and purpose. I cried to God and said “I need you, and I need you now.” (I can be a tad dramatic). God, being the loving Father that He is, came. I still remember feeling hugged by what seemed like an angel and hearing God say, “You are worthy to me, I have a plan and purpose for you.”
That was it, I was sold. Being the ‘all or nothing’ kind of person I am, I threw myself into everything Jesus after that moment.
I was so hungry- I would read the Bible and go to youth group and hang out with youth leaders. I wanted everything to just be drenched in God. I remember reading a book about hearing God’s voice and I would write down things He would say to me. Just a baby Christian and God still allowed me to go deep with Him. I ended up telling a youth leader about some of the things I heard. I was shut down- “God doesn’t speak to us like that”. So I stopped listening. I just focused on reading the Bible and worshipping and journaling. WHICH IS STILL IMPORTANT AND AMAZING.
Even though I wasn’t listening, He would still sneak in how He loves me and His thoughts about me through books or in the silence of my prayer. (Gosh He is so loving!)
One day I met this guy- he was so unique. He was light and ready to tackle life, he would just talk to God out loud whenever, and he was always ready to run the race of life. It was my husband if you couldn’t tell. Right away he challenged me. Asking not just typical ‘Christian’ scripture issue questions people like to form opinions and argue over. But character of God and personal relationship with Him questions. He would tell me that God would speak to him in prayer and would heal people he prayed for.
WHAT? I haven’t heard this was a real thing from my couple of years of church. Why aren’t more Christians talking about this?
It took me a long time to ease into everything he would say, I was pretty skeptical… But I couldn’t discount what he would say because was his relationship with God was so evident, he was usually right on about things that we would pray about and I couldn’t find scripture going against what he would say. So months in to our relationship, he asked me to go to this conference with him with one of his favorite speakers.
When we got to the conference, at the same time my grandpa was dying. We started worship (and I was a little weirded out at first because there was dancing, laughing, and people praying out loud). As soon as I let down my guard and started worshipping- I had what I now know was a vision. Above me was a bright cloud with rays coming down out of it, Angels were there worshiping God with us. Then I saw my grandpa- he was worshipping to. And I felt the Lord say, he will be just fine Christine, he is going to worship alongside the angels. Worship went on after that. The speaker was great and challenging. They spoke on faith and healing. I still was skeptical about that but I went along. At the end we prayed for others. Someone prayed over my back which I had problems with. They said they saw three ladies joining around me to set my back all free. (Someone also prayed over my legs and they grew out to the same length- which helps the back by the way). Weird- okay we will see. About a half hour later I got a phone call from my family. They were saying that my grandpa just wasn’t letting go and thought since we were so close maybe he just wanted to say goodbye to me. Holding back tears, I told him I loved him and that honestly- I was a little jealous of him- He was going to see Jesus face to face so soon. I got a call twenty minutes later saying he had passed away and I knew where he had gone.
Okay God, I am listening. I guess you do speak to us because you just gently walked me through that like a gentlemen.
Another year went by. I went to Indiana to live in a church and host youth groups for community minded mission trips. It was non-denominational so we were not supposed to influence anything from our own denomination. Well, one of the places I connected a youth group to volunteer with was in the middle of a worship week. When we got there they welcomed the kids and showed them the outside work that they needed help with. Then, they offered that if anyone wanted to join them inside to worship they were welcome. I went in to check it out while the group started and it was so cool. There were just a small group gathered singing together and praying for each other and the world. The kids started to join in after they finished their work. In the front were three precious older ladies who asked if they could pray for me. They went around naming things about me that God said were true and He designed me to be! What! Do you remember that someone already told me this work happen! I hadn’t felt pain in my back for a while and at this moment I became confident about it being healed. Just then one of the kids asked for healing in his back! So- I got on my ‘I will trust you Lord’ pants and said “sure, let me pray over your legs”. His legs were visually different in length, but not anymore!
So I shouldn’t put God into boxes just because something seems weird or I had been offended. I could no longer let my own walls tell me God isn’t active and speaking and healing in our midst.
Maybe it is my personality because I always want to go deeper and see new things, but since then God has only shown me more. When Jesus says we will do the same works as Him, and more- that kind of freaks me out. (John14:12) But lately I am kind of just diving in anyways…
In the past four or five years since then, I have only learned that the more we want God to work through us, the more he wants to heal us personally. He has been removing and healing scars from the past and in the process I have never felt more freedom! God has taught me that we each have a place in His kingdom and He provides us gifts as part of that identity. For me I learn more about who I am every day, and something I know is one of my gifts is being a mom.
No I am not pregnant. But we have had a dream of going to Africa and Logan building a home for orphans while I love on them as a mother would. We know the time is not yet. But have recently felt a tug from God that He is starting us on a journey to it. One day during prayer I felt the heavy realization that we had been given so much yet were not really giving anything. I asked the Lord- what have you given us that we can offer? Well we had just bought a house and felt like the extra bedroom was meant to be used.
So we are excited to be in the process of getting to foster. As we wait, I am realizing as much as we will love the child, this journey will probably be teaching us so much.
As I am learning more all the time from God and excited for what He is always doing, I figured I would write a blog. Not only so that maybe someone can grab onto something they maybe need, but also so I can further process what He teaches me.
Can’t wait to hear all of your feedback and hope I can honor God in this small blog.